From Beauty Pageant to Self-Acceptance
- Mar 24
- 3 min read
DALE DARLEY
You’re reading a preview of the March/April 2025 issue of 55+ Wellness Magazine. For the full version, packed with even more insights, inspiration, and exclusive content, visit MA25
It was long ago and far away, but standing backstage at the Miss Cardiff pageant, surrounded by confident contestants, I felt like an imposter. The cat-calls from the audience only amplified my discomfort. Despite friends encouraging me to do it, every moment felt like a harsh reminder of my perceived inadequacies. I thought I was fat. In reality, I was a slender size 10 (UK). Little did I know then that I was wasting precious time battling my reflection.
Now in my sixties, I wish I could travel back in time and tell that young woman what I know today: that true beauty isn't found in perfection but in self-acceptance and self-love.
The journey to this realisation wasn't straightforward. Is it ever? Life has a way of teaching us its most valuable lessons through unexpected challenges. For me, it took a fractured spine and the subsequent healing process to fundamentally shift my perspective. My body changed shape, and I was forced to reframe my thinking. Instead of focusing on appearance, I learned to appreciate my body's remarkable ability to heal and adapt. It wasn’t easy.
This experience taught me that our bodies deserve gratitude rather than criticism. Which isn’t the easiest thing to do. These incredible things carry us through many adventures, bear children, heal from injuries, and continue serving us faithfully as we age. Yet many women over 55 struggle to embrace their changing bodies, carrying forward decades of ingrained self-criticism.
The media bombards us with messages about "ageing gracefully," often code for "looking younger." But what if we redefined this as self-acceptance? What if we celebrated our bodies for their strength and resilience rather than their adherence to societal standards? Wouldn’t that be something worth celebrating?
For women struggling with body image issues in their later years, the path to self-acceptance begins with small steps. Start by practising gratitude for what your body enables you to do – whether it's gardening, hugging grandchildren, or simply breathing deeply. Do simple things that make you feel strong and capable rather than exercises aimed at achieving an impossible ideal.
Consider a "media detox" – unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for your wisdom, kindness, and spirit rather than your appearance.
Dress in clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable, regardless of current trends. Find your signature style that reflects who you are today, not who society expects you to be. Experiment with colours that lift your mood and make you feel good.
Most importantly, practice self-compassion. When negative thoughts arise, challenge them with the same kindness you'd offer a friend. Would you criticise her for the natural changes that come with ageing? Of course not. Extend that same grace to yourself.
Beauty isn't a finite resource that diminishes with age – it evolves and deepens, becoming richer with experience. Your worth isn't measured by the smoothness of your skin or the number on a scale but by the life you've lived, the laughter and the love you share.
Looking back at that young woman at the Miss Cardiff pageant, I no longer see her perceived flaws. Instead, I see potential, strength, and a beauty she couldn't yet recognise. And she had a fabulous body. It took decades and some difficult lessons to understand that self-acceptance isn't giving up – it's growing up.
For us, this can be our most liberating chapter yet. We've earned the right to define beauty on our own terms, to wear our experiences proudly, and to love ourselves unconditionally. After all, true confidence isn't about looking perfect – it's about being perfectly comfortable in your skin, whatever age you are.
ABOUT DALE DARLEY
As The Life Alchemist, an intuitive reinvention guide and book coach, my work is grounded in intuition, creativity, empathy, and open-mindedness. I guide clients—often women at a crossroads or experts eager to share their wisdom—toward uncovering their true potential, transforming their lives, and, when inspired, creating fabulous self-help books that inspire others. When not sitting at my desk, I am in nature with my three oldie rescue dogs or drinking tea and eating cake.www.daledarley.com
You’re reading a preview of the March/April 2025 issue of 55+ Wellness Magazine. For the full version, packed with even more insights, inspiration, and exclusive content, visit MA25
